


Black cotton candy

by JAKishu



Series: A bit different, a bit sad and a bit more cute [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Emotional support animal, Gen, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Kid Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Mute Klaus Hargreeves, Muteness, Protective Number Five | The Boy, Therapy, mute character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:15:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27079438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JAKishu/pseuds/JAKishu
Summary: Life goes on. That doesn’t mean everything is perfect. Klaus is still not talking. But he wants to, really bad. He just can´t. Together with his siblings they decide that reaching out for help would be a good idea.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: A bit different, a bit sad and a bit more cute [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933132
Comments: 38
Kudos: 266





	1. Blood, talking and MIKA

Klaus doesn’t like darkness.

Klaus doesn’t like loud noises.

Klaus doesn’t like small places.

Klaus doesn’t like fighting.

Klaus doesn’t like a lot of things.

But Klaus hates blood. He hates the noises of the blood dripping down from his hand, the red colour that covers them. The feeling of the blood drying on his skin.

Five helps him when his hands or his whole body is covered in blood. Five knows he hates blood on his body. He takes him to the bathroom, washes him and gets him fresh clothes. Five is a good brother, he could hug him more often but he has other siblings now (or again?), they hug him. Especially Vanya, Vanya gives good hugs. Sometimes Klaus is confused. His memory is like black cotton candy. It´s fluffy and dark and hides so many things from him.

Klaus knows he should be more like a living person, he is like a ghost. He is quiet and for the most parts unseen. He doesn’t talk to his siblings. They know that he can talk, they heard him sing once but he can´t get his lips to work, to talk to them. Klaus knows he should be able to do more but something is stopping him. When it becomes too much his mind goes black and the cotton candy swallows him. Klaus doesn’t like the feeling. Most time the world is bloody after he wakes up. Not so often anymore. His life had changed, he lives with his siblings and they try to keep him away from danger and fighting, he likes that.

Klaus has a friend now. His cat, who no one speaks to by name but Ben explained that they don’t know the name. Klaus never told them. Ben explains a lot of things. He is visible most of the times when the family is together, the other times he is Klaus´ invisible companion and follows him like his cat. Ben talks a lot, not filling the void but he tells Klaus stories of the past, explains situation he doesn’t understand, keeps him from panicking when it gets too much. He likes having Ben next to him, like his cat.

Her name is Mika and no one knows. He should talk to them and tell them her name but he can´t. Maybe that´s the reason his whole family is sitting at the kitchen and talking about therapy. Klaus knows what that means, he thinks. It means someone outside this family (and the house) would talk to him and try to help, Ben explained it before but Klaus doesn’t know why he is the only one that needs it. He needs it, likely the most but what is with his siblings. Shouldn’t they get help like he is going to get? Klaus would like to ask this question but he doesn’t know how.

“Just saying we really need to make sure the therapist understands how special Klaus is and that he has to be careful.” Diego says. They don’t ignore Klaus but no one is looking at him right now.

“That doesn’t mean we have to tell that person every little secret this family has to offer.” Five counters.

“Therapy doesn’t work when you aren’t completely honest with the therapist.” Vanya cuts in before her two brothers can continue their loop of forth and back. “We all want´s what is best for him. Klaus needs help, there was no real change in the last month. We should try an outside source. Who needs to know who Klaus is, what he can do, what happened to him. The therapist needs to know about the family and his growing up so that he or she has the whole picture to help Klaus.”

No one notice that Klaus got up and is standing next to Vanya. One arm is holding on to Mika the other is pulling at Vanya´s shirt. Vanya and everyone else at the table stops arguing and waits for Klaus to communicate in some form. Klaus points at himself and nods, then he points at all his siblings and nods too before he takes his hand back to hold on to Mika more secure while walking back to his seat. His siblings follow him with their eyes before they stare at Five who still has the best track record for getting what Klaus wants.

It takes Five a minute but he gets it. “Klaus is ok with going to therapy to get help but he thinks we all should go, we all need it.” To confirm it he looks at his little brother who nods before he continues to pet his pet cat.

“He is right.” Ben speaks the first time during their meeting. He still hasn’t get used to be heard and seen, being alone and a ghost does that. “We all should try to get better.”


	2. Doctor Katz

Vanya come closer towards him while Klaus is sitting on the stairs. His siblings have explained that they would go to the therapist for the first session. Only introducing them and talking about what they hope to archive during the therapy. It was decided that they all go but that Klaus would also get special consultation. The therapist they chose is specialized in family and children psychology. Klaus had forgot his name, but he doubt that he will talk, he can´t. He tried again this morning. He tried to tell his siblings that he isn’t leaving without Mika but he couldn’t. This time is was Ben who figured out the problem and Klaus isn’t sure what they will do now that he doesn’t want to go to therapy anymore.

His sister gets his attention by touching his arms, Klaus looks up but tightens the grip on Mika who is relaxing in his arms like most time of the day. He will not let them take her while these thoughts grow bigger, he pushes the dark fluffy cotton candy in his mind away. He wants to be aware, more than he often is.

“Hey little brother, I have something for Mika.” Klaus feels a strange feeling, like he isn’t sure her words are true or her intention are in his favour. Vanya gets a small read vest with a leach out of a bag he hadn’t notice before. “You see, most people don’t allow pet´s outside the house. There are special laws for working animals. There is a job your cat does all the time and when we go out she has to wear her work uniform. So no one will find a reason for her not being with you.” She shows him the west and Klaus lifts one of his hands from Mika´s back to touch the black letters on red colour of the west. It spells ´Emotional Support Animal´. Klaus knows these words and he looks back up to his sister, feeling that bad feeling leave his body. He opens his arms and let her put the vest on Mika. It seems that she doesn’t mind. Curious she gives the vest a sniff but continues to purr like nothing happened.

Smiling, Vanya offers her hand but Klaus stands up alone, holding Mika tight as Vanya takes him to the van. They have to take the van so everyone can fit in. To avoid further attention Five ´allows´ Diego to drive. Ben had explained that Five is too young to drive legally but Klaus doesn’t mind Five driving. He is good at it and he has always fun with it. Klaus sits between Five and Vanya, Allison and Diego in the front, with Luther and an invisible Ben in the back. They told him to make Ben corporal as soon as they enter the doctor’s office. Other people would be confused and it´s enough that they had to explain the whole power thing, the dead brother and time travel. Maybe the doctor will tell them, they are all crazy and get them shipped off to a mental facility.

* * *

It turns out they don’t have to explain a lot. Their new therapist doctor Katz or Dave had grown up with the stories of the Umbrella Academy like most children. So, explaining their powers wasn’t necessary. They had to go a bit deeper with Ben but after the first getting used to it Ben is part of this session like all of them. Most of the first talking is done by Allision with a few comments by Diego and Luther. As they reach the whole age difference/disappearing/time-travel topic, Five takes over and explains his adventure and offers as much information about Klaus as he can. No one knows exactly that had happened to their brother. Not even the files from the Commission could explain everything. “To sum it up, we are here because we know that we need help, all of us but especially Klaus. We want him to get better, to smile again, to laugh and talk when he feels like it. To be himself and not this shadow of a person that he once was.” Five finished and they all wait for Dave, who had been really quiet, to talk.

Dave takes a moment to collect his fought before he begins after the siblings were done with the introduction and explaining. “I see. I think we can work on this. The best way is to do some group sessions, followed by individual for everyone who needs it. I will also have a separate appointment for Klaus. I can see you are all worried. We will work on it. The whole family.” He smiles openly at the group of seven in his (for this large number) small room. “Would it be alright for you to get me a few minutes with Klaus, I would like to talk to him, only if that is okay with everyone.” Dave looks at every face in this room and stops at Klaus. No one has anything against it.

The others stand and leave Klaus alone. Five is the last one. He turns back and knees in front of Klaus. “When you don´t like the talking in here you can just get up and walk out. We are behind this door. Don’t worry Klaus, we won´t let you alone.” Klaus blinks but doesn’t give any other sign of understanding. Five takes what he can get and leaves the room.

* * *

The nice doctor who asked them to call him Dave is the only human left in this room. Mika is here in his arms, safe and purring. Klaus like the feeling of her soft body pressed against his chest with the vibration filling him and his fingers that touch her fur. The vest Mika has to wear outside because she is working is in the way, a bit. But they explained it. It´s like a police officer or a fire fighter, they wear their uniforms when they go outside to do their job´s so Mika has to do the same.

Klaus is watching this man, he can´t really remembering interacting with anyone else except his family. Only the people that he killed but they attacked their home and hurt his siblings. Five said he is proud of him, proud that Klaus can protect himself and his family. The powers they are given have only one reason, for protection and Klaus understands. Still, when the darkness inside of him takes over, when his power leaks out of the place he hides it inside of his mind and body, Klaus doesn’t like the feeling of being taken under, of being pulled under the dark surface of the water. The black cotton candy that is soft and sweet and doesn’t let him out until he is done.

Suddenly Dave is in front of him. Klaus hadn’t notice him moving, to deep in his mind. Finally looking up at the man he finds him softly smiling. Strange, Klaus thinks, he doesn’t know this man but he already likes him more than the people in this horrible lab, who make him do thinks he doesn’t want to think about ever again. “Hey Klaus, are you back from your little trip in your mind?” Mika looks at Dave and he offers her a finger. She sniffs on it and gives it a quick lick before she returns her main duty, getting comfortable in Klaus´ arms. “It´s ok when your thoughts go on adventures but you should always keep a part of you in the here and now. You don’t want to get lost. It´s a long way to get out of a place when you can´t remember the way home.” Dave offers him a cookie from the plate on the table. “I´m looking forward to our little conversations. I hope you can introduce me to your little friend one day. But for now let me just say this. This room is a save place. In here noting bad can happen. No one that wants to harm you can reach you in this room. I will not harm you. I am here to help you and if you need to shout or cry or throw things to make you feel better, then be it. If you never say a word because you can´t or want or just don’t feel like it, that’s fine. When we are together there is nothing that you say or do, write or point that would change any of this.” Dave´s eyes are focus on Klaus, looking at him as if he could jump into Klaus´ mind and hearing his thought. But he doesn’t hear them, he tells Klaus something important and Klaus listens. He even stops petting Mika´s head for the time. He listens and he understands but isn’t sure how this will make him talk again or feel better, remembering things he had forgotten. Honestly, Klaus doesn’t get the point of therapy but that’s ok. Dave will explain it.

After their short, one sided talk Dave takes Klaus outside to his waiting siblings. They would return at the end of the week for their first real appointment. None of them ask what was spoken in the room while they were outside. Save room for Klaus and Mika.


	3. Steps into the right direction

The following weeks were filled with therapy and homework. Yes, homework because Dave gives them some, every time they have a family session. Klaus doesn’t mind and after Diego and Luther had a fighting match (no one is really sure about what) they also agree to do these tasks, as they call it. Klaus doesn’t mind calling it homework. He likes that Dave explains things like this so that he understands the significant of these tasks.

Five told him that in school, normal school where other children go to learn, there are many teachers, that teach different subjects and that this teachers give the pupil homework. So they can repeat their topics from the day and also deepen their knowledge. Klaus likes the thought of school. He can´t remember the school in the Academy but it doesn’t sound like they had real lessons like the ones in school. They had a monkey as a teacher, so he is told by Vanya, as she and Five try to teach him the meaning of homework and school. The children of the umbrella academy also didn’t get homework. They had extra lessons, training to become superheroes. Klaus is sure he never wants to be a superhero, it doesn’t sound like something he wants to do but later, alone with Mika in his bedroom he couldn’t say what he would like to do.

One homework they got is decorating the house for Christmas, a task that Klaus really likes but also makes him think. He is a child, at least his body but his mind is a broken and shattered Christmas tree decoration ball (Klaus doesn’t know the real word for it) but he means the colourful balls made out of glass that are used to decorate Christmas trees. He found this comparison while his siblings were decorating the house for Christmas. One of the balls falls and breaks. Diego is quick to pick up the pieces before someone could get hurt and throws them away. Later that evening, in one of the rare moments when Klaus doesn’t have human company he sneaks into the kitchen, picks up the broken pieces and hides them in his room. As it was bedtime, he finds the glue in his desk and starts fixing the glass ball.

“Mika look at it.” His companion looks up from her comfortable position on the bed to find the broken thing glued up again. When they are alone Klaus starts to talk. Only with a small voice and just a few words at the time. One of Dave´s suggestions. After the sixed meeting he told him that he could try to talk to his cat, when no one is around, she wouldn’t tell anyone. “I fixed it.” His voice sounds more broken then he thought it would, because yes he is like this ball. Someone broke him in little pieces and throw him away but someone cared enough to take him way from this place and this someone, no wrong there are more than one person trying to fix him, they all try to help. They are the glue that puts the pieces back together. He will never be like the brother they lost but maybe he can find himself whole enough again to become a different version of this brother. A version he wants to be.

Mika gets up, stretches her long body and walks over towards him. With a nudge of her head at his hand she gets him up and Klaus follows her downstairs into the living room. Where the great Christmas tree is standing. His siblings are still downstairs, enjoying a hot beverage, they all look up surprised as Klaus walks in, bare foot and in his pyjamas. Five gets up first. “Klaus you should be in bed, it´s late.”

Klaus holds out the fixed ball and Five takes it. “The broken Christmas tree ball.” Klaus shakes his head.

“Not broken, fixed.” He says and Mika immediately takes position next to his feet and is picked up by Klaus seconds later.

Five nearly lets the fixed-up ornament fall. Klaus had talked, he knows this is not really about the decoration, he also understands that he can´t make a huge deal out of Klaus first words. He had missed this voice. So he swallows any comment about his little brother finally saying something and offers his hand. “Would you like to show me where on the tree you like to put it.” Klaus doesn’t take the offered hand, too busy holding on to his cat but he walks toward the Christmas tree and points at a branch that is still empty. Both Five and Klaus are to small to hang the ball up their. Diego is the closest and carefully lifts the fixed-up ball and puts it on the correct place.

“Perfect.” Whispers Allison from her seat at the sofa and all seven siblings look at the small ball with many cracks but still bright and beautiful.


	4. Past

Even after the first word said and with high hopes, Klaus stays silent most of the time. There are these short moments when Klaus is alone in his room with an open door talking to his cat and not noticing that one of his siblings can listen in to them talking. They found out that the cat is called Mika, what makes Klaus very happy as they started to call his friend by her name.

Grace also found a new way to provide them with a more normal daily life. She starts home schooling again. First with only a few subjects to get Klaus used to the concept school like art and reading but continues with cooking, knitting and gymnastic. Not the most traditional subjects but nothing about their family is in any way traditional. Klaus makes his first knitted scarf in a bright green colour and gives it to Five. Not as a Christmas present, they didn’t really do the whole present thing but one morning, after Klaus had finished his work, he gets up from his seat next to Grace on the sofa and walks over to Five who was busy reading a physics paper on the internet. The scarf finds his place around Five´s neck and the brilliant smile that appears on his brothers face is priceless.

At the next appointment with Dave, Klaus sits like every time silent in his chair petting Mika and listening to Dave or playing games. Today it´s not a game put a few pieces of paper and a huge collection of pencils, crayons and pens. Dave asked him to draw his family and that’s what he is doing. Klaus likes his art class with Grace, she always finds something for them to paint or draw and one time they even tried pottery. Klaus made a cat, a friend for Mika. She wasn’t very into the idea of a potted cat friend, but the mall grey cat is now watching over Klaus´ room when they are out.

His picture looks good, at least Klaus thinks so. He draws all of his six siblings, Grace, Pogo, Mika and put them all in front of the giant Christmas tree in their living room. “I guess you and your family did your homework and decorated the house.” Dave asks and Klaus nods. He often asks question that Klaus can answer with a nod or a head shake. He explained to his siblings that it´s a start, a form of answering non-verbal. “Can you draw me your favourite Christmas ornament in your house.” It takes Klaus a second to think about it but he takes a red pen and starts drawing a big red ball into his paper-selfs hand, next he takes a silver pen and draws a few lines on the ball. “Is this a Christmas ball?” Klaus nods again. “Why this one?” It´s not like he couldn’t ignore the question or just move his shoulders or anything. He doesn’t have to answer but somehow, he wants to.

With his pen still in his hand Klaus looks up at Dave. “The ball was broken, and Diego threw it away. I fixed it and its on the tree now.” Deciding he had said enough Klaus return to his drawing and takes a new page.

“Can you draw me something from before coming back home?” Not sure if he had pushed to hard today Dave holds his breath as Klaus stops but is amazed that the child starts drawing. The difference between both pictures is without a doubt the shading. The picture of the family is colourful and happy, the new picture is dark and makes Dave sad. Of course, he knows that there were things in Klaus past horrible and even if the conscious of this child isn’t really that of a child it still hurt every time when another child was hurt.

After their session Klaus leaves the dark picture with Dave and takes his family picture home as Diego and Vanya pick him up. He wants to put it on the fridge. He saw that in a movie. Parents put their children´s picture on the fridge so everyone can see them. The dark picture finds his place in Klaus´ file. It shows a dark room with chains that hand down from the ceiling, some red spots cover the floor and it looks cold.

Klaus didn’t want to talk about it and Dave didn’t push for any answer, he didn’t even ask a question, not really. Just making this drawing is a huge step. In the car, Klaus looks out of the window, the whole city is illuminated by fairy lights, bigger ones then in his room. There are Christmas trees and every show has decorations up in the front. Klaus likes it, it makes the world a brighter place. He doesn’t like the darkness and every small light makes him feel better. Mika purrs on his chest and Klaus suddenly feels hungry.

“Can we get waffles from Griddy´s, please.” It isn’t like Klaus had made the decision to take right now. He just did it. Vanya turns surprised in her seat to look at him and Diego nearly finches and moved the wheel into the traffic.

“Yes of course.” Vanya is the first that gets her voice back. While Diego changes the lane to take the next turn right, away from the Academy and towards waffles. He could have ask for a piece of the moon and Luther would have taken the next rocket into space to bring him that piece. At least that was one of the thoughts that appear in Diego´s head as he thought about it. They would probably do everything for this few minutes of happiness Klaus, of the bright eyes that are completely in the here and now.


	5. Dark Times and Light

Mika looks right into his soul, Klaus is pretty sure she can read his mind. No, he is 100 % sure that she really can read them, it should scare him but it doesn’t. Part of his soul are always hiding from him, he can´t see them but maybe she can. He knows there are these year in the past, years he had grown up and been an adult. Years of pain and horror. Of blood and death but these years are hiding. Maybe he hides from the memories of the things he had done. Klaus is sure that most things he had done are bad. Five explained that killing isn’t seen as something right in the most cases. He also explained if you have to choose between killing and getting killed or between protecting those you love and letting them die, only than is killing something that could be seen as righteous.

Klaus doesn’t like killing and Ben offers an alternative wisdom. Yes, what Five said is right in some way but when you are strong enough you are (sometimes) able to chose not to kill people. Either by knocking them out or being so strong that they don’t want to fight you anymore. So, Klaus decides to become strong. Stronger than anyone. No one would ever try to hurt him or his family that is under his protection.

“Klaus?” He looks away from Mika´s eyes and right into Dave´s. He must have spoken before but Klaus hadn’t listen. He had been too far away, inside of his mind to hear it. “Where did you go?” Dave always sounds nice. Nice and calm, he likes it. It´s exactly what he needs to keep the black cotton candy away that swallows him sometimes.

“Is it ok when I want to become stronger than anyone before?” Klaus´ voice is small and he chose to look at Dave. Dave is nice, Dave is calm. He won´t hurt him. This room is safe. “I want to be able to choose. When I protect my family, I want to be able to chose to kill the enemy. I want to be strong enough that people who want to hurt us are afraid of me and change their mind. I want them to ran away and not bother us. I want to be able to look at my siblings and be strong enough to talk to them, without fearing to lose my voice or the words in my mind.” After a short break, Klaus looks down at Mika. “I want to have a life that is not shadowed by blood, death and darkness.”

Dave waits with his answer until Klaus looks up again. Green eyes open and aware look at the psychologist. “You are already strong. Your siblings told me how you used your powers to protect your sister and brothers. You are able to give your brother Ben a body so everyone can see and talk to him. Strength isn’t always the same. You are strong and since you and your brother Five returned you got your family back. Some say that family is the strongest bond you can have to someone. You already talk to me, to Mika and on occasion with your siblings. You don’t have to force out words to make yourself known or feel strong. When you can´t offer words you will find a different way to communicate. And for your mind. You won´t be able to forget what had happen to you, it will be your companion, most likely for the rest of your life but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You already proven that you can live with these memories, you do it every day. You will grow on this experience and you might be able to help others that had been hurt because you understand. You understand pain and loneliness, you have suffered and been hurt but you came back. You are here and every day will be another step into the right direction toward living. That doesn’t mean there won´t be any setbacks but your family is by your side, they are the light in your life. Whenever the shadows try to catch you, they will be there for you.”

Dave smiles softly at Klaus who had listen carefully to every word he had said. Healing the soul is a matter of time, time that can be a whole life but we learn from pain, we learn from it to become stronger and keep on fighting, keep on living in the world of light, away from the darkness. Klaus nods. Their session was done. The two of them didn´t need more words they understand. Five is waiting for them in the waiting area. “See you and your siblings on Friday.” Klaus lifts his hand and waves his goodbye. Five offers his and hand and Klaus takes it (Five isn’t allowed to drive anymore after a cop pulled them over last week and Allison had to rumour him) they teleport home and are welcomed by their siblings, a lit fireplace and marshmallows.


End file.
